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List of news ticker messages

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In the SimCity series, news ticker messages have been displayed at the bottom of the GUI since the release of SimCity 3000 up until SimCity Societies, later being omitted altogether. Their last appearance was in SimCity Deluxe on iOS and Android. Some are in response to events in the city, some are from advisors, and some are jokes made at complete random. Many running gags and puns were present in the random messages, taking the form of news headlines. For example, SimCity 3000 included many stories featuring advice by Tommy B. Saif and "Wise Guy" Sammy, anti-broccoli sentiments and a series of editorials about the shortage of Kitty Kibble.

SimCity 3000

  • 50 Car Pile-Up Results In New City Sculpture
  • 9 Out Of 10 Sims Prefer Cranberry Jelly Over Preserves
  • After 36 Years Of Marriage, Man Discovers Wife Is Actually A Rare Yucca Plant
  • All Raccoons Cheat At Poker, Animal Researchers Say
  • Ancient Meteorite Revealed To Be Burnt Burger
  • Ball Lightning Destroys Toupee But Polishes Victim's Car
  • Bark Art Exhibition By Bark Simson
  • Big Game Bistro Opens Amid Animal Rights Protests
  • Black And White Ball Disrupted By Bank Robbery
  • Black And White Ball Preparations Underway
  • Black And White Ball Raises Money For Charity
  • Bongos Making Big Comeback Among Unemployed Steelworkers
  • Bookstore Gets New Copies Of SimUlations: A Love Story
  • Boy Saves Cat From Tree, Thousands Cheer
  • Bread Baking Books Beat Bean Broiling
  • Broccoli Discovered To Be Colonies Of Tiny Aliens With Murder On Their Minds
  • Broccoli Found To Cause Grumpiness In Children
  • Broccoli Pops Cereal Not As Popular As Presumed
  • Broccoli Tops For Moms, Last For Kids; Dads Indifferent
  • Building Turned Into Aviary After Birds Stick To New Paint
  • Bus Misses Turn, Dozens Late For Work
  • Cab Fares In city name To Increase; Sims Brace For Worst
  • Cable Disruption Blamed For Rising Birthrates
  • Cat Burglar Spotted, Mistaken For Dalmatian
  • Cat Hijacks Municipal Bus; Riders Applaud Good Timing At Stops And Courteous Meows
  • Cats Demand Longer Breaks, Cleaner Litter, Slower Mice
  • Cauliflower-Lovers Won't Let Broccoli-Eaters March In Their Neighborhood
  • Chefs Find Broccoli Effective Tool For Cutting Cheese
  • Citywide Blood Drive Highlights SimHealth Week
  • city name Baker Wins Pickled Crumpet Toss Three Years Running
  • city name Baton Twirlers To Lead Local Parade
  • city name Makes Top 10 List
  • city name New Ticker: Important Things You Need To Know, More Or Less
  • city name News Ticker: A Quiet Voice Of Reason In A Noisy World
  • city name News Ticker: Accept No Substitutes
  • city name News Ticker: Don't Blame Us If You're Not Paying Attention
  • city name News Ticker: Don't Blame Us, We Just Report It
  • city name News Ticker: Easier To Find Because It Moves
  • city name News Ticker: For When You Have To Know But Would Rather Not
  • city name News Ticker: If It's Important To You, It Probably Is To Us Too
  • city name News Ticker: If You Read It Here, That Means It Happened
  • city name News Ticker: Information At A Readable Speed
  • city name News Ticker: Information That's A Luxury, Not A Necessity
  • city name News Ticker: Information With As Few Words As Possible
  • city name News Ticker: Journalistic Integrity Without All The Advertising
  • city name News Ticker: Just One Piece Of Information After Another
  • city name News Ticker: Left To Right Through Aesthetic Design
  • city name News Ticker: No Advertisements Since Before The Beginning
  • city name News Ticker: Not For The Faint Of Heart
  • city name News Ticker: Not Too Fast, Not Too Slow, Just Right
  • city name News Ticker: Pretty Darn Accurate Most Of The Time
  • city name News Ticker: Properly Spelled Words From Beginning To End
  • city name News Ticker: Sometimes We're Just Here To Make You Smile
  • city name News Ticker: Where We Report On Busses, Not Buses
  • city name News Ticker: Your Total Information Source
  • city name Racewalkers Win All-City Title
  • city name Society Gather To Honor Visiting Potentate, Exchange Kitties
  • city name Tourist Bureau Launches City Beautification Project
  • city name Phonebooks Print All Wrong Numbers; Results In 15 New Marriages
  • Consider A Career In Garbage Collection
  • Crime Lord Spotted In city name; Mayor Says "No Comment"
  • Cross-Eyed Python Found To Be Running Successful Chain Of All-Night Laundromats
  • Cure For Senility Found, But Lost Before Being Recorded
  • Daily Special At Restaurant Found To Be Big Fat Lie
  • Ditzy Debutante Mistakes Broccoli Floret For Nosegay
  • Don't Forget To Pick Up Your Litter
  • Doughnuts: Is There Anything They Can't Do?
  • Eagerly Awaited Llama Exhibition Coming Soon
  • Eckelberry Marmalade May Cure Hiccups, Doctors Say
  • Esoteric Verbosity Culminates In Communicative Ennui, Teachers Note
  • Experts Advise Using Sunblock As Sunny Weather Continues
  • Eyes Move While Reading Tickers, Scientists Speculate
  • Famed Prognosticator Warns "Disaster Awaits Us All"
  • Floor Sweepings Found To Be Tangier Than Salt And Pepper
  • For More Information, Send 9 Million Simoleons To The "Broccoli Education Foundation"
  • Foreign Potentate Becomes Lost In city name, Refuses To Ask For Directions
  • Former High School Principal Caught Licking Stamps Behind Post Office Counter
  • Four In Five city name Children Won't Eat Mono-Colored Cereals
  • French Kissing Leads To Higher Croissant Use, Authorities Warn
  • Fresh Fruit In Season Is Berry, Berry Good
  • Giant Hairball Has Perfect Grammar, Linguists Say
  • Girl Rides Bicycle Across City Phone Wires; Arrested For Eavesdropping
  • Gravy Tastes Better When Loudly Slurped; Scientists Baffled
  • Gymnastics Program Growing By Leaps And Bounds
  • Ham-Handedness Doesn't Lead To Higher Cholesterol, Researchers Declare
  • "Hang Up And Drive" Say Citizens Against Cell Phones
  • Heads Roll When Rollerblader Hits Tourist Group
  • Here Comes The Sun
  • House Made Entirely Of Broccoli Built In city name; Furniture Made Of Wheat Germ
  • Humming Show Tunes Sure Sign Of Poor Motor Skills, Researchers Declare
  • I Was Framed, Jokes Local Artist
  • "I'm Just A Sim, Sim, Simple Guy" Rises To Top Of Charts
  • If Tin Whistles Are Made Of Tin, What Do They Make Foghorns Out Of?
  • Information Shown Here Frequently Absurd, Poll Indicates
  • Lady's Knitting Circle Raises Cash For Homeless
  • Linguistics Experts Discuss "Left To Right Or Right To Left; Is One Better?"
  • Local Cop Found To Be Ticketing Only Lantern-Jawed Males
  • Local Kindergartners Prefer Oi Brand Paste; Claim It Just Tastes Better
  • Local Mustard Magnate Marries Daughter Of Dill Pickle Mogul
  • Local Politicians Take Both Sides Of Issues, Little Accomplished
  • Local Scientists Conclude: Kitties Like Fish, Dogs Less Picky
  • Local Sim Bill Flopsby Heads County Commission On Snuggles And Hugs
  • Local Sim Discovers Just Who Wrote Book Of Love
  • Local Sim Mentioned In Out Of Town Newspaper; Starts Scrapbook
  • Lou Turns Away Every Person Who Skips To Her; "They Have No Rhythm," She Says
  • Lunar Eclipse Obscured By Clouds
  • Lying Found To Be Effective Calorie Reducer
  • Man Caught Shoplifting Spatulas; Thousands Of Flippers Found In Bedroom
  • Man Discovers Neighbor Completely Enclosed In Mailbox; Returns Him For Postage
  • Man Survives Wintry Night Adhered To Bus Bench By Chewing Gum
  • Marathon! Sims Hit The Ground Running
  • Mediums Agree Blue-Striped Socks No More Lucky Than Clovers Or Pennies
  • Middle Age A Hoax, Declares Study; Turns Out To Be Bad Posture After All
  • Miracle Lint Remover Based On Broccoli Juice Sweeps Market
  • Molasses Truck Springs Leak; Sweetest Accident In Long Time
  • Most Sims Ignore Tickers, Study Reveals
  • Mrs. SimLeary Gets Prize Cow
  • Mysterious Loud Rumbling Noises In city name Found To Be Mysterious Loud Rumblings
  • Never Feed Broccoli To Your Dog, No Matter How Much He Begs
  • Newspaper Boy Crime Ring Cracked: Read All Over
  • Nutritionists Aver That Eating Broccoli Encourages Higher Bowling Scores
  • Oliver "Slim Jim" Golonsky Wins city name Inter-Location Obstacle Race
  • Ordinary Days In city name Become Common
  • Original Magna Carta Found Written On Large Broccoli Stalk
  • Pigeon Alert! Extreme Pigeon Danger!
  • Pistol Packing Punks Pilfer Precious Petunias
  • Pot-Bellied Pigs Named Bob Convention Highlight Of Season
  • Psychic K.C. Edgars Predicts City To Grow
  • Public Displays Of Affection Common Sight Near City Hall
  • Public Service Message: Pooper Scoopers Urged When Walking Dogs
  • Rap Music Causes Hangnails, Study Shows.
  • Regional Catsup King Cousin To Tie Knot With Toothpick Tycoon
  • Rock Star Spotted In Llama Fur Near Casa Del Sticky
  • Rockin' Good Thrash Metal Found To Reverse Aging Process
  • School Field Trip To Museum Sparks Interest In Local History
  • Scientists Assert That Swearing Is Source Of Bad Breath
  • Semicolon Declared Sexier Than Comma At Grammarian's Fete
  • Shopping After Hours Source Of Purchase Embarrassment Says Survey
  • Sim Offers To Let City Bus Run Him Over For Lifetime Salad Bar Privileges
  • Sim Scientist Discovers Gravity While Falling Down Stairs
  • SimFirefighters Wanted: Apply At Your Local Fire Station
  • SimNation Report: Criminals Demand Cell Phones
  • SimNation To Host Energy Symposium
  • SimPolice Officers Wanted: Apply At Your Local Police Precinct
  • SimScientist Discovers Abacus Can Be Used To Dry Towels
  • SimScientist Discovers New Dry Cleaning Method Using Sparklers
  • SimSurvey Reports Rise in Vegetarian Sims
  • SimSurvey: "Cheese Louise" Voted Best Pizza Restaurant In city name
  • SimSurvey: 3 Out Of 5 Sims Loathe Modern Art
  • SimSurvey: 4 Out Of 5 Sims Prefer Hard Cheese To Brie
  • SimSurvey: 4 Out Of 5 Sims Surveyed Find Surveys Satisfactory
  • SimSurvey: 50% Of Sims Say YES
  • SimSurvey: 80% Of Sims Hang Up On Telephone Solicitors
  • SimSurvey: 80% Of Sims Love Clog-Dancing
  • SimSurvey: Sims Sleep Seven Hours
  • Sims Everywhere Agree: A Sound Financial Future Begins With Inheriting Lots Of Money
  • Sims Everywhere Agree: All Sales Are Final
  • Sims Everywhere Agree: Brush Before, After, And Between Meals
  • Sims Everywhere Agree: For The Best In News Ticker Entertainment, The Picayune Can't Be Beat
  • Sims Everywhere Agree: Frequent Saving Prevents File Loss
  • Sims Everywhere Agree: Good Grooming Is Essential To Success
  • Sims Everywhere Agree: History Laughs At Many People Who Deserved To Be Laughed At
  • Sims Everywhere Agree: If You Throw A Stone, It Will Hit Something
  • Sims Everywhere Agree: It's Not What You Make, It's What You Keep
  • Sims Everywhere Agree: Past Performance Does Not Guarantee Future Returns
  • Sims Everywhere Agree: Purring Kitties Are Happy Kitties
  • Sims Everywhere Agree: The Egg Came First, But Only After The Chicken
  • Sims Everywhere Agree: Vote Early, Vote Often
  • Sims Everywhere Agree: Your Actual Costs May Vary
  • Sims Flock To Grand Opening Of Betty's Bird Boutique
  • Sims Report Widespread SimAnt Problem
  • Skirmish At Writer's Workshop, Speaker Used Fighting Words
  • Some Destruction, But Not Too Much, In Practical Joke Derby
  • Spotted Owl Spotted
  • Stand Up And Cheer If You Like SimCity
  • Staring At Football-Shaped Bladders Good For Concentration, Researchers Proclaim
  • Staring At Lapping Ocean Waves Makes You More Assertive During Lunch
  • State Governor Found To Be Mule; "His Clothes Always Fit Funny," Says Aide
  • Studies Show Most Sims Mispronounce "Zsdersw"
  • Study Demonstrates That Singing In The Shower Makes Teeth Crooked
  • Survey Shows Less Is More, More Or Less
  • Swamp Gas Verified To Be Exhalations Of Stars--Movie Stars--Long Passed
  • Tainted Broccoli Weapon Of Choice For Global Assassins
  • Talking Broccoli Hosts Talk Show; Guests A "Bunch Of Vegetables"
  • Tapped Out: Local Brewery Closes Its Doors.
  • Ten Teachers With Cardiac Arrest After Students Declare Love Of Beowulf
  • This Space For Rent
  • Timmy Falls Down Well, Climbing Needs Work
  • Tip Of The Day Provides Interesting Tidbits, Mayors Agree
  • Today's Forecast: Cold, Cloudy, With Occasional Showers
  • Today's Forecast: Sunny, High 70's, Winds From The East
  • Today's Forecast: Windy And Cooler Than Yesterday
  • Traveling Truck Technician Talks Transmissions Tuesday
  • Tree Stuck In Cat; Firefighters Baffled
  • Truckload Of Apples Overturns, city name Diner Offers Applesauce Special
  • Typist Involved In Winter Traffic Accident, White-Out Conditions Blamed
  • UFO Seen And Disavowed
  • Unsalted Tortilla Chips Best Cure For Colds Says Health Nut
  • "Weasels Are Warm And Wonderful" Day At city name Mall
  • Weasel Rejected As city name's Crime-Fighting Mascot
  • Weather Likely To Become Different Before Changing


  • From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: A Person Who Likes Cats Can't Be All Bad
  • From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: Better To Aim High And Miss Then To Aim Low And Hit
  • From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: Check Your Facts Before Making A Fool Of Yourself
  • From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: Help Is The Sunny Side Of Control
  • From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: If You Made The Mess, You Clean It Up
  • From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: It Is Easier To Get Forgiveness Than Permission
  • From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: It's Better To Yield Right Of Way Than To Demand It
  • From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: It's Hard To Have Too Much Shelf Space
  • From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: Lightning Often Strikes The Same Place More Than Once
  • From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: One Word In This Ticker Is Mispelled
  • From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: One Word In This Ticker Is Sdrawkcab (Backwards)
  • From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: One Word In This Ticker Is Wrong
  • From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: Reading Improves The Mind And Lifts The Spirit
  • From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: The Insides Of Golf Balls Are Mostly Rubber Bands
  • From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: Two Points Determine A Straight Line
  • From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: Wine And Friendships Get Better With Age
  • From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: You Can't Outwait A Bureaucracy
  • From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: You Don't Have To Fool All The People, Just The Right Ones


  • Rumor Of Kitty Kibble Shortage Causes Futures To Drop; Consumers Stockpile
  • Local Merchants Puzzled By Rumors Of Kitty Kibble Shortage; "We Have Plenty," Say Most
  • Kitties Concerned By Rumors Of Kitty Kibble Shortage; Owners In Panic
  • No Kitty Kibble Shortage Says Local Representative Of Kitty Kibble Association
  • Is Kitty Kibble Shortage Real? Authorities Say Rumors Unfounded
  • Unlicensed Kitty Kibble Factory Fuels Rumors Of Shortage
  • Enough Kitty Kibble For Twenty Years, Experts Agree
  • Kitty Kibble Association Flooded With Letters: Where Is Kitty Kibble?
  • Is Kitty Kibble Shortage A Hoax? Sims Search For Truth
  • Rumors Persist In Kitty Kibble Shortage; Unfounded Say Many
  • Kitties Want Answers In Possible Kitty Kibble Shortage
  • Kitties Say Not Enough Being Done In Kitty Kibble Shortage
  • No Kitty Kibble Shortage, Officials Insist; Kitties Skeptical


  • Tommy B. Saif Sez: Accept No Substitutes, And Don't Be Fooled By Imitations
  • Tommy B. Saif Sez: Always Mix Thoroughly When So Instructed
  • Tommy B. Saif Sez: Change Not Given Without Purchase
  • Tommy B. Saif Sez: Do Not Remove This Tag Under Penalty Of Law
  • Tommy B. Saif Sez: Eating And Drinking On Station Platforms Is Prohibited
  • Tommy B. Saif Sez: Hold On; Sudden Stops Sometimes Necessary
  • Tommy B. Saif Sez: If You Break It, You Buy It
  • Tommy B. Saif Sez: Keep Fingers Away From Moving Panels
  • Tommy B. Saif Sez: Look Both Ways Before Crossing The Street
  • Tommy B. Saif Sez: No Left Turn, Except Buses
  • Tommy B. Saif Sez: Reservations Must Be Cancelled 48 Hours Prior To Event To Obtain Refund
  • Tommy B. Saif Sez: Return Seats And Trays To Their Proper Upright Position
  • Tommy B. Saif Sez: Stay Within The Crosswalk
  • Tommy B. Saif Sez: Try To Keep Six Month's Expenses In Reserve

SimCity 4

References

[1] http://www1.reocities.com/SiliconValley/drive/2069/SimCity/SC3KNewsTicker.html

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